Sunday, November 7, 2010

Moscow, so far

Moscow, yeah, the place of dreams for awhile now. Studying Russian for 2 years, trying to figure out the culture before I come here; it all seems for naught. There is no magic here for me. After getting through some bad culture shock and establishing a fairly stable routine here, I find that I am getting the same dolrums that I had in Ohio. I have not escaped my ennui, only broadened it's range to now include Moscow freaking Russia. So, it seems that I have to keep running to other places to find somewhere that interests me. It almost seems like a waste. However, this is pretty far from the truth because I had to remove myself from that poisonous environment in order to get a clear perspective on what I want. If I had stayed in America, I would have only succeeded in putting myself more into debt and would have bought more gadgets that I have no real need for. Living here has at least helped me to realize that I was not living in any kind of way that was healthy. My way of thinking was tainted. I finally have the time to "relax" and find some perspective on my life, rather than running around like a crazy person working and studying. Now that I can finally live in the now, instead of only looking forward to the "glorious" future I have awaiting me, I can get a grip on what I truly value instead of things that I merely desire. Sigh, but where to go from now....

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